On Being A Tourist

I'm way behind schedule, I admit it. Oh, it isn't the loan files - they're in good shape. The books are up to date (through November anyhow; I'll finish them once I've got the December bank statements) and from there it isn't far to TurboTax and the dreaded Infernal Revenue Service and Oklahoma Tax Commission filings. All of the invoices are paid, the household items are handled, and the sink's clear of dishes. The small stuff's all caught up.

Nope, I'm behind on vacation.

Usually by this point in the year's festivities, we've got the e-tickets firmly in hand (or at least in the in-box) for our annual pilgrimage-in-reverse to England. I love it there - it's beautiful, and it's different, and when the phone rings, it isn't for me (or if it is, it's somebody wanting to do something fun). So, tonight I spent three hours snooting through booking websites (Expedia, Cheap Tickets, Orbitz, eBookers, American, Continental, Delta, United, and British Airways) looking for the path from Oklahoma City to Manchester that would have the least impact on the bank accounts.

Why do tourists get gouged? I mean, apart from one trip at Christmas, we've always gone in the spring (because there's nothing I like better than leaving Oklahoma for tornado season). The most we've ever paid for tickets up to now is something like $3000 ... but I'm staring at a minimum of $3950 here, and that's if we load up the big blue truck and drive to Dallas to catch a plane (involving a three-hour drive each way, gas for said big blue truck, and a month's worth of parking at DFW, which would cost $650 all by itself). Flying out of OKC, the minimum price is $4250, involving a six-hour layover in Chicago on the way home. I can only imagine how icky the whole thing would get (and how quickly I'd see my beloved annual sabbatical head straight down the drain) if we had to pay for a hotel in England for the whole stay.

Seriously, who came up with this stupid idea? I have to be missing something major somewhere. There can't be anybody who honestly thinks that it makes sense to crank up the prices during vacation season to the point of making it financially impossible for people to go on vacation. Some airlines now require that you bring your own pillows and blankets if you want them, and some offer you the indignity of the $8 snack box, while nearly everybody wants to charge extra if you want a paper ticket rather than the flimsy e-ticket (which is a cool thing at Disneyland, but not so easy to get to when the ol' surfboard modem is having hot flashes). You don't dare pack everything you think you'll need, because there are weight limits and excess charges if you exceed those limits with your luggage.

Argh. It's a good thing for the airlines that the blonde values her sanity enough to pony up these ridiculous prices just to get away from a ringing phone.