And I Thought "Pre" Meant "Before"

Monday afternoon I went to the Hallmark web site to pop an e-card off to some folks. I expected to see sale advertising (it is, after all, "that time of year"). I did *not* expect this, though ...

Oh, where do I begin?

Do "pre" and "after" cancel each other out, leaving only a Christmas Sale? What does George Carlin have to say about this? Is it something to include in future oxymoron lists? How is anybody advertising an after-Christmas sale before Christmas? Come on, everybody knows that we all take a 36-hour breather (from 6 p.m. on the 24th to 6 a.m. on the 26th) and then revisit the frenzy with one hand full of gift cards and the other holding bags with gift receipts for the god-awful sweater or pinafore or blouse or whatever that our favorite spinster aunts bestowed upon us. Since when does Christmas Eve count as a day to advertise what's next? I don't know about where you are, but our local rag (the Daily Disappointment or the Daily Joke-lahoman, depending on who's doing the telling) is crammed full of circulars on Christmas, all wishing us the happiest of holidays in teensy type in the upper left corner while "DON'T MISS THIS SALE! DOORBUSTER SPECIALS TILL 9 A.M. ONLY!" is shrieked at us in 32-point Helvetica. As one last snide aside ... I ventured out to the mall after seeing this, and after enquiring was informed that the Pre-After-Christmas Sale was only for online shoppers (not available in actual stores staffed by actual people who actually live in your same area code). Nothing purchased online today would ship today; nothing would arrive until Thursday at the earliest. How sad. Somebody's marketing department needs a bit of Zoloft!