Bad Reputation

Once upon a time (and isn't that how the best stories start?), I was happily waiting tables at the coolest restaurant in Oklahoma City, the Eagle's Nest. (The place is still there, but it's owned by other kids now, and it's called something else ... plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, I guess.) It's at the top of a round 20-story building just off Northwest Highway, and the outer ring rotates ... as you can imagine, it was formal dining, and the wait staff wore tux trousers, tux shirts, bow-ties, and matching vests (lucky for us the tips were good enough to keep up with the dry-cleaning bills). I had a bunch of regular customers who'd ask for me when they came in, and one day, one of them (Michael) was sat in my section with another gentleman (Jon, although I didn't know that till later). In preparation for dropping off their tab, I asked if there was anything further that I could do for them, and Michael responded by asking what I knew about finance. I answered quite honestly that I knew nothing of it, that I couldn't balance a checkbook (still can't, for the record) and that if my sorority house hadn't had a test file, I'd have flunked Econ instead of getting a D. He told me to come chat with him after lunch, that he had a position available that he thought would suit me. I was of course intrigued, and that's where my career as your friendly mortgage goddess began (although it wasn't officially official until January 18, 1994).

So flash forward 13 years, and I'm still in it. By now I've been a loan officer, a processor, a wholesale rep, an escrow officer, an underwriter, and I've worked for a mortgage banker, a mortgage broker, a bank, and a credit union, along with two wholesale mortgage companies. I've got a pretty good grasp of the whole situation, and I can (and do) give little seminars to my first-time buyers so they'll understand as much as possible. I find this to be very helpful in making sure my clients don't make bad decisions that will catapult them into horrible things (like foreclosure) later in life.

When first I embarked upon this grand odyssey, what I knew about mortgages was that my parents used to have one but at some point had got rid of it. I learned it all from the inside out (reading the Fannie Mae Selling Guide and writing a summary of each chapter, hanging out with kids who performed each of the necessary functions in a transaction such as appraisers, credit folks, abstractors, title attorneys, closers, pest inspectors, home inspectors, surveyors, the list is extensive) and then got the baptism by fire. It was kinda cool, because I didn't know what I couldn't do, and so therefore I acted like I could do everything, and I very nearly did! It got me a reputation for finding a way to get things done.

All this time later, I've still got this "bad" reputation. I suppose it's good if you're a buyer with more than just a couple of hickeys on the old credit report, and I have some dedicated and faithful realtor clients who not only send me their business but recommend me to other realtors who are having a difficult time getting a transaction closed due to buyer financing eligibility issues. The part that gets me is when they call me and say that so-and-so told them that if I can't do it, it can't be done.

Don't get me wrong, this rather feeds into my happily arrogant "get the lesser mortals out of the way, get the whiners belowdecks, and let's get the damn thing closed" ego. It just bothers me sometimes to think that when a client calls me because of this type of referral, they hang all of their hopes and dreams on me. I didn't create the credit situation, after all, and no one (not even me ) can be expected to create a file that makes an underwriter happy about forking over the cash when it's evident that someone doesn't pay attention, much less a bill.

So here's today's hint, and it's for free: if you want to buy a house, get your hands on your credit report and have a look. Heck, I'll look at it for you if you can get it to me. I can tell you what an underwriter is going to see, and what you need to fix, and how long it will take. I can help figure out which things to address and which to ignore, and I know which ones are no big deal and which are the equivalent of a stake in your heart (followed by having your mouth stuffed with garlic, your head severed from your body and turned face-down in the casket, and said casket pitched into a running river ... in a mortgage sense, of course). I'm pretty good at being rather blatant with the honesty when I see a report that indicates that someone doesn't need a realtor and mortgage lender so much as they need a bankruptcy attorney and maybe even a priest.

Sorry if I disappointed anyone with the title of this entry ... but good grief, what did you think I was going to post about??!! : )~